Whipped Cream Crisis

I’m not sure if you have heard, but due to a tragic nitrous oxide accident in Florida this past August there is currently a canned whipped cream crisis happening right before the holidays! That’s right, a canned whipped cream crisis!! Not quite as strange as the Norwegian butter shortage of 2011 (link here if you want a good giggle) that was caused by an inane diet fad that involved eating entire sticks of butter, but no less of a crisis when you stop to consider how many holiday treats deserved to have a delicious whipped topping.

Enter, homemade whipped cream.

Not only is it ten million times more delicious than anything you could buy in a can but it’s stunningly easy to make and I guarantee that you will be nothing short of a holiday hero if you whip up a batch for your nearest and dearest (pun entirely intended)! I’m convinced that once you experience the otherworldly, transcendent fluffiness of homemade whipped cream you’ll never go back to that silly can again. Plus if you’re by yourself in the kitchen when you’re making it you can eat it by the large spoonful … no one will ever know (not that I’ve ever eaten whipped cream by the spoonful straight out of the bowl before *cough*cough*cough* I’m a lady).

I typically use an electric mixer, but if you don’t have one, two old school methods – both involving good old elbow grease – will do the trick.

Ingredients

1 cup heavy cream

3 tablespoons powdered sugar

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Electric Mixer

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, or in a large bowl using a handheld electric mixer, beat together the cream, sugar, and vanilla on high speed until the mixture has doubled in size and become enough tot stick to the whisk, about 3 minutes. Don’t over-whip or you’ll end up with butter, but if you do go too far you can always stop, add more cream, and then continue whipping to the correct consistency.

Old-School Method #1

Hold an arm wrestling competition to determine who has superior forearm and wrist strength; they will be the whisker in this method. Combine all of the ingredients in a large bowl and whisk them together with a wire whisk until your arm feels like it will fall off and your cream has doubled in size and soft peaks begin to form.

Old-School Method #2

Combine all of the ingredients in a large jar, screw on the lid tightly, and shake, shake, shake until you have whipped cream. To engage everyone at your party in the game of ‘making whipped cream’ pass the jar around a large circle to distribute the shaking amongst your guests. (Recommended shaking music: TSwift – Shake it Off; KC and the Sunshine Band – Shake, Shake, Shake; Peaches and Herb – Shake Your Groove Thing; Devo – Whip It)

Variations on a Whipped Cream Theme

Lemon Zested Whipped Cream – Add 1-2 teaspoons freshly grated lemon zest along with the vanilla for a hint of lemon. (yummy with pumpkin pie)

Peppermint Whipped Cream – Add 1 teaspoon peppermint extract in place of the vanilla. (perfect on top of hot chocolate or chocolate cream pie)

Not even a countrywide nitrous oxide shortage should come between you and the perfect whipped topping this year. So, bust out your mixers (or muscles) and start whipping!

Teeny Morris